The meal of a lifetime, the sort you never forget, the painstaking attempts to getting everything right, and we are wanting to each contribute to this, despite ourselves and our past.
Ralph is home here. Ralph is a conifer, a japanese cypress, petite, green, cheer-bringing, and he looks fuller already, having let his branches fall in relaxation.
I feel at home here.
And yet,
On the bus, a dozen black kids stoked a fear in me that has been dormant since high school: a creeping panic that nearly had me fainting. I was so disoriented that I don't even know for sure what happened, just that I was scrutinized by so many judgmental eyes, which is one of my least favorite things.
His visit was the buoy of my day; and my smile gave me away.
The things that threaten to sabotage my life with him and I don't feel strong enough to resist.
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