I have tried to take this space and fill it with things. They look different this time. Last time it was an accumulation of things that I came across, this time, I chose things that comfort me.
It's hard to believe I've been here for almost two years. Even harder to believe that I've had a growing pile of crap in my kitchen for two years. Most of it is stuff from Marilyn that I never wanted in the first place, but I feel bad about throwing it away (every gift given had a declared actual value followed by its much lower purchased cost). Among those items are bits and pieces that I've grown out of, lost interest in, or just generally don't need anymore.
The last time I moved in with Eric after living alone, I had to pare down most of my life. It settled into nine large garbage bags that made their way to the Salvation Army (via a very helpful Jill who was thrilled to drive there with my boyfriend). A lot of it, of course, was the elimination of duplicate items that a household of three people was sure to have. And even then I still had a lot of stuff. I would have never admitted it before helping Val move yesterday, but I have waaaaaaay too much stuff.
Due to recent events (the uber commitment of the family plan), I've thought about moving in with Eric. As I contemplate what might stay and what might go (using "might" just as a paranoid, precautionary measure to avoid jinxes and the like) I find that much of my decor is probably considered "girly" and won't do at Eric's place. Yet, I like many of the things that are girly, like my curtains, comforter, and large silk wall panels. Of course, much of what I like and don't want to part with I bought on the cheap at Urban Outfitters. But those purchases were my triumphs into my own sense of style and I don't want to give that up. Enter compromise, which neither of us are very good at doing...
There are a few things that will be welcomed. My strange array of dressers. My printer, I suspect will come in handy. My few pieces of "real" furniture and not the shaky ikea items he has from five years ago. My few random baking items will supplement his. His heart will soar at the arrival of the big palm tree I hijacked from a friend of Marilyn's under the guise that I would give it a good home. I said this with the full knowledge that in the past, I had a plant death care facility. I think he likes it because it is the biggest living thing you can have in your home that doesn't move. He would also love to watch me fawn over Dustin's plant, which turned the tide of my black thumb.
Then there is the problem of the bed. It has been with me for almost six years now. But I don't think it will fit in his place. He already has a bed (a mostly land locked sea of memory foam). The idea of giving it to someone I know seems fitting, and yet, I've, um, you know, done a lot of things on this bed. Aside from the obvious, it's been my version of a couch, and it's been with me during some good times. I would love to give it to my mother, who purchased it for me, but it just seems a little icky.
Otherwise, what I know I must do is get rid of all the little items people tend to accumulate through the years, either from sentimentality or inability to toss lame last minute gifts out of fear the giver will notice its absence. Eric has plenty of these sort of items, they occasionally commit kamikaze style leaps off of the top of the fridge and I suppose I will have a surface area to cover with my own assortment, but I don't think I'll get to have too much room to place random items I love.
In a way, I guess the cleansing of unnecessary items from one's life is a good thing. Perhaps it just means I'll have more space to fill up eventually with things that we accquire together. And I hope to report that this might be my last move for some time, at least long enough to best my recent pattern of two years here, two years there....
