Once again I've torn the smallish blanket of trust off of us, and left us naked and cold in the rain. And miraculously, he was able to pull it back over us and say that everything was just fine.
What drives my incessant need to know everything? What makes me such a crazy psycho bitch about him? Why can't I feign indifference as he does so easily?
I could travel the day with a million demons at my side and indulge in them all and he would not suspect or wonder about a thing I've done. Maybe that is his way of loving someone, to not care, to not wonder, to not think about your love.
I imagine I should tear myself away from him, find someone new, start over, but I instantly feel the floor come away and my smile gone. I have crossed myself a hundred times as I promised never to see him again, but here I am, in his bed, in his life.
We are healing, but the old habits are hard to break.
No comments:
Post a Comment