depends on the angle, I guess. I want to think that there's something there, but sometimes it just feels flat and full of nothing, like the surface of something.
today while we were together, and walking, and talking, there was something, for the briefest moment that felt like a shock to me, something that I expected to come many other times, but instead that flatness prevailed, but in this instant, he was saying that if I was where he'd be he would get no work done, and his face was full of a smile, and the words seemed like they might represent something else than what he was saying, like something he was feeling, and my step faltered and I swayed, and I was surprised by that.
I don't know what is going on, and for once, I think I've finally learned not to rush things, not to ask about it, not to figure it out, just be present in each moment, enjoy what comes, and my reflections on his company and his words are still, quiet, flat, a mirror, full of smiles, contentment, and for now, that is enough.
later, they told me I looked happy, relaxed, and I couldn't believe it. I wish I could have seen myself in that moment. I'm certain I looked beautiful, and I am glad.
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